straight white boy: what are you doing?
me: laying in bed
straight white boy: anything else? ;)
straight white boy: are you sure? ;)
i dont want a job i just want paychecks
FUN FACT: These eggs are evil. Octopus babies are evil. Let me tell you why. The octopus mother lays her eggs in a cave roof and spends 6 months guarding them from potential predators and swaying the eggs with her tentacle so they get oxygen. This means she doesn’t eat or sleep until they hatch. When the octopus babies hatch, she dies from fatigue and starvation. THEN THEY FUCKING EAT HER. THEY EAT THEIR MOTHER WHO DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING AFTER THEM. THEY. EAT. HER.
this sounds like what my mother said i did to her
"It’s difficult to tell whether people are looking at you because they recognise you from your work or just because you’re 6ft 3in and have the eyebrows of Satan. It’s difficult to distinguish between the two."- Will Poulter
*wakes up at 9* nice
*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice
This post is eveeeeeeeerything
Usually said by someone who is about to make a valid point while simultaneously asking you a rhetorical question (via guy)
Matthew Gray Gubler at dna today!
WAKE UP POTTER
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO